Lol & omg ......I have cursed The man who hid this geocache (blue&gray) for hours. I am gonna have to blog post this one ! Oh the story is funny but at one point I was sure I would never search for another geocache! Nothing feels as defeating as the DNF after three hours of climbing a hill that I am certain is one of those "no girls allowed" caches !!!!! Don't think that I am a sissy now because I am not. I set out armed with nothing but my determination and desire to feel the success of saying I did it! But it was not to be....not today!
I went right up that mushroomy looking mountain and I was certain I was on point. It would take two hands....the ground was wet with the rain that had fallen earlier in the day and his notes on the cache say specifically that you shouldnt attempt it on a wet day and that climbing poles may be needed and that this one was not for sissy girls...lol.....and though I am my fathers daughter and too stubburn to accept that a mountain that men have climbed before me may be a little more than I should attempt (especially alone)....I set out to find the cache! Oh the excitement ! What will it be? A pathtag? A mcdonalds toy worn from years of play? A dime store toy of some kind? A blue&gray treasure box just waiting for me to discover! But wait.....
I put my gps in my vest pocket to use both hands to do this big bush to bush, tree to tree, grab for earth climb.....To the top..... I climbed and then something was off? I had both hands free now and whipped out my gps to find I was off coarse some two hundred feet....what the heck ? It must be on the level below....oh that blessed blue&gray! Lets stop for a moment in the story to let me say that I have never in my life been known for my sense of direction ! I can get lost in a parking lot ! And the gps is new ! I am finding them but this is a sport that is mathmatically against me ! lol
So down I went a level and marched my determined rump the five hundred plus foot that it would take to reach the treasure that now I had to have!
Oh my gosh.....slipping and skidding I went dangling off cliff after cliff thinking to myself that scrapbooking was so much more a girl thing to do! But wait....I need to pee.....so I squat there behind the pile of rocks that I had been certain only thirty mins earlier from above would contain the cache....I duck down to avoid being seen by the traffic below zooming by and pee....I remember laughing as I pee'd that that I hoped I hadn't relieved myself on the cache that I had been searching for....if I can't find it I thought.....then piss on it ! When about that time my big fancy droid x phone slid from my hand and slammed into the cave beneath me now laying in the puddle of pee! I couldn't help but laugh. Then I remember saying something unrepeatable about the blue&gray man and thinking to myself that he must have chuckled as he carried his precious plastic tupperware to the top of my grave!
Okay damnit I will go one more level below.....
I did that...I climbed down again with no concept of footage in my unmathmatical, directionally challenged brain and entered yet another level of this thing they call the Moses Case Thruway !!!! I only went about 200 foot this time before it hit me....this man, this wonderful man who hid this beautiful little treasure...he hid it in the road level in the giant rocks where I had parked my car below...thats what he did I thought....ugh...curse him !
So I climbed to the bottom and removed the jacket that had been burning me up and placed it into my car at the suggested parking coordinates and up the side of the road I went again the tenth of a mile to the spot that I would finally find this treasure......again as you guess.....I was still off coarse ! How can this be !!!!
Is it on the next level of the other side of the cut thru ? So at this point I messaged my backup man, Spongebob, to ask for help ! LOTS OF HELP !!!!
And up the other side of the cut thru I marched my ass !!!!!
Now on this side it was much harder to climb. Ya know because I had at this point already climbed the exact opposite side of the road about three times now !
I find a fence and I use it to balance and steady myself and this time I think Oh I am not going to fall for this again....Im going to the bottom step of this mountain first I thought....
Yes you guessed it....
So Up to the second level...
Then the third...
Then the top where I started to feel myself want to cry like the girl that I am when I began to see that I was almost there.....17, 16, 15, 14, oh the joy of 568 feet....yay....feet...I am down to feet !!!!! woooooohooooo !!!!!! I am going to sign this log and get a treasure and I am going to say that I am one of the only girls to ever crest the summit of this beast they call the Moses Case Thruway !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now at this point I pull out my phone, the one that I prayed was going to restart after being dropped into a puddle of pee, and I would phone a friend....Help, you have to pick my child up from school if i am late because I cant give up now...I am almost there !
Now at this point in the story I must tell you that I smell of sweat, Piss and my hair is full of weeds, I have burrs from the top of me to the bottom of me and two splinters in my right hand from the huge tree I grabbed as I fell on the last leg of the climb. I am almost in tears when I climb over the little mountain that was in front of me....I was going to reach the top and see a field of grass with flowers and daisys that was all I could think in my mind....only to see that there were rows and rows of ups and downs yet ahead of me in this blessed adventure !!!
I can only say that at the top of this mountain I called out names before Gods ears that I cant repeat here in this post....This Blue&gray person is not my friend !!!!! (lol) He hates me !
And I have little feeling left for him at this point ! What is wrong with him I thought. Does he not like girls ! He hid this expecting that no girls would attempt it I suppose ? Oh how I cussed him !
Finally I managed to get to the pile of rocks that would be ground zero....I am standing on ground zero ! My gps says I am there ! Its 1 foot off coarse, 1 foot to the treasure, its here...in my reach....I made it ! I survived it ! I did it !
Only I couldnt find the dang thing !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I searched....I searched some more.....I sat down on this pile of rocks and I wondered if I could call this blue&gray man on the phone and tell him a few things...hehe....I understood right then the need for code names in this sport ! For names where others are not fully aware of who you are while they are searching for your hides ! hehe
With an hour and a half I turned rocks over and stuck my arms and head into cracks and holes and I looked so hard. Where is the thing !? Where could it be ? I didnt find it !!!!
The whole story ends with....I DID NOT FIND IT !!!!!! DNF...the dreaded DNF.....Did Not Find !!!!!!
I retreated to my cachemobile in defeat !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Home now covered in the sweet smell of pee and briars and the mess from the day...getting ready to log my defeat and send the blue&gray a little thank you note for my adventure.....I am also going to ask him where the Hell the stupid thing is hidden at and insist that he meet me at the bottom and climb this mountain with me while I get this stupid smiley !!!!!!!!!!! A smiley.....my reward for my adventure....It has escaped me today :( hehe
Reading back thru the journey and looking at the photos posted here I am Thinking to myself......I cant wait to go out again tomorrow !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh how I am addicted to this !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I will close with a simple thing.....Thank you....Thank you Mr Blue&gray for my adventure ! Thank you for playing this game with me :) I have never and may never meet you in person....but I enjoyed spending my day...my long....exhausting day with you :)
Wendy
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