Today while cleaning on my porch enjoying the weather I was thinking about the fire. I was trying to figure out what came of it. Yes I have a new beautiful kitchen, yes it forced me to clean every single spot in my world, yes I painted things that had been long overdue....I could go on and on about the work....
I am tired and see the end in sight and I am thankful that it is almost over ! But what is the bigger picture ?
I was thinking the other day that Faith is nothing until the days when you are wore out and tired and afraid.
You can talk about faith but until those times in your life that you dont know what else you can do....until the times when you are down on your knees totally scared and lost....faith is nothing.
And almost ever time we face something in our lives...We think we will never get thru it ! LOL
How will I ever survive the mess that lay before me in this photo ! How can I ever make it financially and physically thru the mess that I made that cold January day ? It will never be over I thought (many times)
And today I was washing my porch and enjoying the beautiful evening and putting finishing touches on a totally redone beautiful house that I absolutely love and I was so at peace when it hit me finally exactly what Came from the fire !!!!
Kelly !!! That is what I gained !!!
Did you ever have someone in your life that you just werent sure you were gonna like ? I can remember thinking a year ago that I just wasnt sure if I liked her. She is so bossy I thought ! (sorry Kelly) She is always telling me that I have to do things that I dont want to do ! She is always asking me how I feel about things ? What am I doing now ? What am I doing tomorrow ? What did I buy at the scrapbook store ?
I didnt think I liked that ! ?
See the problem was simple....I have never had a best friend !
Oh I've had people in my life that I was friends with. I had people in my life that I would do most anything for. But I have never had a best friend. A girl. Someone who knows what I am thinking. Someone who comes to me when I dont even know I need them yet ! Someone who is looking out for me when I am too confused to even look out for myself !
Thats what Kelly does. She is my best friend ! She is sharing my life with me. I have never had that. Never had someone other than my daddy or my husband that was close enough to me that what ever is going on in my day its not really finished until I have shared it with them. Kelly wasnt being bossy or nosey...she was just being my friend. (well she is bossy...hehe)
But I love her !
And I didnt discover this fact until after the fire.
Cold and Scared and Confused about how I would take the next steps....Every second of it....Kelly was there. Bossing me ! (LOL)
Telling me that "WE" could do this. On days, and there were many, that I cried, she was there to listen and hug me. On days when I didnt want to get out of my bed because I was so tired from the push to get my life back together she was right there at the door every morning to start again.
No matter what else I had to face the past three months...the one thing
I could count on ever day....was Kelly.
So tonight. I am setting here on my clean porch thanking God. For the chance to have the fire. Thanking God for the blessings he has given me. Thanking God for Kelly. For my best friend :)
Wonder why we cant see the end at the begining ? I guess it goes back to the faith thing. If we could just put our faith in God that whatever we are going thru right then....There is a blessing coming....wouldnt it be so much easier ! hehe....but I never do...I have to learn things the hard way usually. Atleast now...I can be thankful that God blessed me with the fire and thankful for the blessing he gave me in my new bestest friend Kelly. God is good.